Did you see the social media meme of the Mom who looked amazing after three kids? You know the “Whats Your Excuse” Mom? Well I did… And even though this meme went popular back in late 2013 (when I was about to give birth) I still to this day have this image in my mind.
I get it. I get that she is proud of what she has accomplished in-not-so-perfect-so-she-says conditions. And I get that she wanted to create as much stir and controversy to get attention (to market herself…) I get that she wants to get a conversation going is one thing but what kind of conversation did it actually create is another. She didn’t win many hearts over with her antics but as they say any publicity is good publicity and I’m sure she is reaping the benefits now. After all… I am writing a blog about her, right… I saw the obvious… I read her “apology”… How she said she had an eating disorder (which is MORE of a reason she shouldNOT have posted a picture like this) and how she says that she is being blamed for “fat-shaming”… Let’s just say, her apology made no sense to me.
What I think she forgot to mention in her “sort of” apology to everyone was, what about the mothers that give birth to sick babies. What about that Mom who is still in the hospital 189 days (and counting) and sees her image plastered everywhere. Did she think this all the way through? This is what keeps bothering me. It has been months since this was all that was talked about on my Facebook news feed… Yet I am still bothered by it.
My excuse Maria Kang? My excuse is that my baby was born with three holes in his heart. My excuse is having, not even a week old baby, and having to hear that he has heart failure. That his heart is enlarged on one side because there is just too much blood being pumped through the holes. That I couldn’t look anyone in the eye for a good month after giving birth with out bursting into tears. My excuse? My excuse is that I chose to go to cardiologist appointment after cardiologist appointment after pediatrician appointment after pediatrician appointment instead of the gym. My excuse is that I chose to give my baby liquid gold for as long as I could even if that meant I would be tied to a pump for hours on end instead of going to the gym. My excuse is that I wanted my baby to be healthy before I could even think about myself. Is that a good enough excuse?
It hurts me to think of those silent Mamas, like I was, that have seen this same image and how this could have affected them; yet they were silently and busily caring for their beautiful yet sick precious newborn and still having this cloud hanging over them. Baby is out -> baby weight must go. If she can do it, so can I. She has three babies, I only have one. Is that what you wanted us to think?
Society wants Moms to drop the weight… and fast.
So this is to you…
I see you rocking your little baby in that stiff hospital chair.
I see you holding your babies hand, praying those silent prayers.
I see you hugging that box of Kleenex.
I see you putting your phone on silent just so you don’t have to answer questions.
I see you pumping your little liquid gold heart out.
I see you nervously in that cardiologist appointment, hoping the next echocardiogram shows a light at the end of the tunnel.
I see you hanging your head at night praying to the good Lord above for Him to just heal your baby.
You are beautiful.
You are special.
You are doing Gods work here on earth.
You don’t need to give into to mainstream mentalities.
Fourth trimester is REAL and that umbilical cord is still attached -psychologically and mentally.
Take pictures with your newborn.
Snap those videos.
Its okay to cry in the hospital.
Its okay to smile in the doctors office.
Its okay to laugh when your baby makes a silly face but has tubes everywhere else.
You are doing the best job that you know how to do. The last thing you need to worry about is the mainstream.
This is an unhealthy view of our postpartum beautiful bodies.
Focusing on giving your baby the healthiest YOU so they can get healthy.
Clear your head, Mama… you got this….