Helpful Wanted Unwanted Advice for New Mamas
A little over six months ago, I gave birth to my bouncing baby boy. I turned 30 years old just 10 days later. I think some people forgot that I was old. I think some people didn’t know that I have been surrounded by everyone else having babies since I can recall. I think some people don’t know that my Mom gave birth to my brother when I was 8 years old. I also don’t think some people know or forgot that I have been babysitting {proudly might I add} since I was 13 years old. I know things change after you have a child of your own but for the most part, I know the basics. You know, like how to change a diaper and the fact that I won’t get any sleep for a long… long… long time. Some people also don’t remember that I have a pretty good solid community of girlfriends around me that have kids as well. I think most forget all of this because I was given {like most of you} unwanted advice and on repeat! Most of this talk came when I didn’t ask, wasn’t probing or even on the topic of. And also more times than not it was negative advice. I often caught myself wanting to say, “can I just enjoy this pregnancy?”
I am hoping that someone will find this post helpful as I was once “in their shoes”.
Well this is my list… of wanted unwanted advice. It is your choice to read or to press along to another blog of your choosing. These are things that I wish I read on someones blog that would have helped me out from the get-go.
- Keep your gift bags from your shower. You will get a lot of bags. A lot of them. Baby brain makes you loose sense of reality. Keep all bags. Seriously.
- Write your thank you’s for your shower right after your shower. Do not wait until the baby is born. I repeat do not wait until the baby is born.
- If you get multiple activity pads for your little, keep ALL OF THEM. My squirt gets bored QUICKLY and so do other littles. It is best to have multiple toys to switch out once the baby understands toys and understands that they GET BORED.
- Do not purchase Dr. Browns bottle brushes. They have foam at the end. And they suck. Stick to the Munchkin Deluxe Bottle Brushes. Buy them at Target as well. They are less than $4. You can thank me later. Especially for you exclusive pumpers and formula Mamas who will be doing dishes like its nobody’s business.
- Speaking of dishes and pumpers and formula Mamas…… Don’t just assume you should get Dr. Browns bottles. Yes they are #1 and yes they are amazing however, try Playtex Nursers. They will cut down on your time in front of the sink with drop in liners. They are a little old-fashioned but hey, they worked great then! And if you are still on the fence, add BOTH of them to your Baby Registry so you can test them out beforehand.
- Which leads me to my next tip, BUY BOTTLES. Oh em gee. Seriously. If you exclusively pump or use formula, buy enough bottles to get you through one day of feedings without having to do dishes. I had about 5 on hand when Gentry was born and I didn’t think outside of the box. I just washed and washed and washed till my hands were beyond cracked and bleeding. It hit me one day after viewing someone else’s Baby Registry that I needed more bottles. It just clicked. Thanks baby brain.
- ….BUY GLOVES. Yes even if you don’t have to use bottles that often, if you are like me and cleanliness is your top priority, that HOT water will burn. And I just kept burning my hands until it hit me that they make gloves for washing dishes. 2 + 2 = 4 Brianne! Helloooooo….
- Carter’s Keep Me Dry Pads. These are godsend. Especially if you have a little boy. I put one of these suckers on my changing pad and kept the others close by. They are for accidents and help out A LOT for doing laundry; they will save you some time…
- Another changing table tip, put socks on babies hands to distract them during diaper changes. Only works when they start finding their hands and realizing they can grab themselves 🙂
- You can NEVER have too many burp cloths. If you get a ton from your shower, don’t take them back. Use them for your pumping, playing peek-a-boo, cleaning up sudden spills, during feedings when they start solids and more.
- Best piece of baby goodness I purchased as a new Mama was… A Fisher Price Rock N Play. The reviews don’t lie. Go read them. This dubbed as a bassinet next to me for the first 3 months of my Son’s life until he was able to roll on his tummy and then… well…. it just became a safety hazard.
- Set goals for yourself while you are at home for the first 4 or so months after delivery. I had 5 goals. And I didn’t hit them every day BUT having them and being aware that these are the things that need to get done so that you don’t lose your sanity helped out quite a bit. The 5 goals were: Make your bed every day, shower, brush your teeth, put on 3-4 items of makeup and get dressed out of your pjs.
- When you decide to escape from the house with OR without the baby, you might not have all your marbles yet. Don’t park closest to the store of your choosing like you normally would. Park closest to a cart return area or by a marker. This will help you remember where you parked and if you have the kid with you, you will understand how nice it is to not go very far to get or return a cart… especially in summer heat or cold winters!
- Don’t feel guilty for not being able to breast feed. It’s on every label, every book and we all know breast is best. I am even a firm supporter of breast-feeding. HOWEVER, if you choose to not or even if you just can’t breast feed, don’t feel guilty. Don’t beat yourself up. There are many pros & cons of BOTH formula and breast milk.
- Take pictures… and video… and lot of them. Record just little movements and noises. Sounds silly but you will look back at all the little stuff that you have forgotten and you will say I am SO glad I recorded this, I forgot he/she did that or that he/she sounded like that!
- Read this blog post from Jody Gray. Watch the YouTubes as well. There are some products I specifically did not try but for the most part I find myself handing out this post to new Mamas more times than not.
- Take a shower to feel good no matter how many times a day you need to. Showers are magical for new Mamas.
- Remember: What worked for someone else might not work for you. Just as this post worked for me, it might not work for you. Take advice on with your gut instinct.
- Buy nice yoga pants. Especially if you have a C-Section. You will practically live in these suckers for quite a while and you don’t want to look like a frumpy mess all the time. They are easy to dress up too so buy a couple nice loose tops while you are at it.
- Last but not least, don’t forget to communicate to your Husband/Partner in all this. Men are clueless with a lot of what we are going through. If you don’t feel good or feel up to doing certain things, voice your concern/problem whatever it might be. It’s okay to get help even though you want to be superwoman. But honestly you need to be soaking up all your newborn loveliness and not worrying about the dishes.